If you find yourself constantly dwelling on the past, blaming yourself, and experiencing stress and anxiety that affects your mental and physical health, this post is for you.
Self-Reminders
- Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone faces confusion and problems. I’m not alone.
- Focusing on my past actions, whether they were right or wrong, won’t alter the outcome. I acted to the best of my ability given the circumstances.
- If I truly can’t change something, I don’t need to worry about it. Instead, accept it, take the next step, and move on.
- While I can’t alter my past, I can start anew from this moment onward, creating fresh experiences.
- I should avoid comparing my life to others.
- I should not won’t worry about what others say.
- I must have the courage to change the things which are within my control.
- Responsibility is not solely self-driven; it also involves a commitment to the people around me and to society as a whole. I must take care of them as well.
Understand your triggers
Whenever you catch yourself ruminating, take a mental note of the circumstances. Once you’re conscious of the triggers, you can begin addressing them even before the past thoughts rule your mind.
When you catch yourself dwelling on the past
- Ask yourself “Is the thought helpful? Is this worrying helpful or harmful?”
- And most importantly, when caught up in thoughts of the past, remind yourself, “I’m obsessing again, but I’m actively striving to release these thoughts…”
- Find a distraction which can interrupt your thought cycle.
Create a daily “worry” period
Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work. Instead postpone your worries to a fixed worry time (Read it here.) There are two advantages for this
- Until your designated worry period, you won’t dwell on it, allowing you to carry on with your routine activities unaffected.
- By postponing your worry to a designated time each day, you’ll likely find that it diminishes over time, eventually realizing it wasn’t even worth pondering.
Journalling with an action plan
- Note down any issues you’re facing, big or small.
- Some things are beyond our control, so accept them as part of destiny.
- For the rest, make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of.
- After evaluating the options, create a plan of action.
- Then, start working on the problem with this plan.
Be flexible with your plans, Readjust your life goals
- Recognize and build on your strengths.
- Exercise and meditate daily.
- Keep in mind that “No one is in charge of your happiness, except yourself!”
With time, typically within weeks or a month, you’ll cultivate the habit of thinking in the present, much like you’re accustomed to reflecting on the past.
And don’t hesitate to seek medical or any other form of support if needed.
This post might interest you since it discusses how to live in the moment.