“How helpful she is! “.
“He only paid the entire hospital bills. How great he is!”
You might have heard these kinds of conversations. Have you wondered thinking about the greatness of that helper?
But before judging their greatness, have a keen eye upon their helpful deeds.
In this self centered world, there is very little chance to be helped sincerely without a hidden motive in the helper’s mind. You may disagree with me wearing the shoe of a genuine helper. So obviously exceptions are there. But now let us think on those helping hands who have some secret agenda behind them.
Yes, it is there, whether you realize it or not. There is a secret agenda behind almost every helping hand.
And the most evil thing is when someone makes you believe that ‘you are helped by them while in fact he/she hasn’t played any role at all’.
What could be the motive of those helping hands.. .
- With a little investment, they are looking for fame.
- A give and take policy, even if the ‘take’ may be at a later point of time.
- Hiding their own great benefits while portraying the service to others.
The first two are not that harmful. And the most trickster aspect is the last one. People will try to seek their own benefits under the impression of a helping hand. And they will be marketing themselves very tactically such that all around you will be deeply impressed with their help. They pretend as if they are servicing you, but there will be a hidden motive of self service.
Once we realize this, feel so much irritated with their help. And do you know how difficult it is to escape from their helping hand?
Personally I don’t like to be helped unless and otherwise no other options in front of me. There are two things which pull me back from being helped. First thing is the secret agenda of helping hand and secondly I don’t like to be dependent, cutting my wings.
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April 11, 2017 at 9:25 am
Yep. There’s always a motive. I always stay away from too helpful and sweet people. They literally change colors like chameleon.
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April 11, 2017 at 9:53 am
Thank you. Identifying this chameleon is not a big deal for me, but keeping myself away from them is really a big issue
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April 11, 2017 at 1:48 am
This was a very interesting outlook! I look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂
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April 11, 2017 at 8:28 am
Thank you. Have a good day
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April 10, 2017 at 11:26 am
its wrong to expect that help should be selfless act these days.if you are taking help ,return it with thanks in your own way.
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April 10, 2017 at 12:28 pm
Yes, its wrong to expect as you said.. My point was how to escape from them..its really awkward for me..sometimes you know, they won’t let you go without being helped as they planned..ughhh…
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April 10, 2017 at 12:39 pm
i donot like to take help like that ..i politely decline them..
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April 10, 2017 at 1:02 pm
some emotional bonds make us helpless..but I agree that we need to decline it in the best way possible
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April 10, 2017 at 1:04 pm
i have faced these situations too.. but believe me sometimes some hard decisions are necessary ..
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April 10, 2017 at 10:30 pm
Yup..I have to
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April 10, 2017 at 1:32 am
Harsh reality. Only a few, a very few people on earth are selfless and help others without any expectation or ulterior motives…
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April 10, 2017 at 12:20 pm
Yup.. Actually I don’t think it to be their fault, it’s the way they are programmed to live in this self centred world. What bothers me is how to escape from their fake helping hands
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April 11, 2017 at 1:24 am
You’ve to be careful..watch out for them and refuse their help. I think, that’s the only possible way…
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April 9, 2017 at 11:17 pm
I also faced these kind of things,I am always afraid to ask help.Because I faced some bad situations in past.People do one rupee help and ask us hundred rupee help.if we don’t do,they will spread negativity on us.And sometimes they do very small help but for getting some name in society They add some bad things on us and tell to people.( this happened with my parents,but unfortunately he is my own family member,soo we can’t blame him)That’s why I am scared to take help even from my family ,because Sometimes that take advantage,and we can’t say no,though it’s illegal!!!!! Thanks for sharing
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April 9, 2017 at 9:54 pm
You are absolutely correct.
In this self centered world we can surely not rely on the helpers who may just seem to us as selfless.
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April 10, 2017 at 11:09 am
Thanks moushmi. Happy that we are in the same boat
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April 9, 2017 at 9:47 pm
Someone sounds cynical 😐
But yes, in this self-centered world, there are very rare people who help others without looking for any benefit.
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April 10, 2017 at 11:08 am
Mm.. A sad reality..
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April 9, 2017 at 9:36 pm
Such beautiful thoughts penned down in one post. Amazing Akila ❤
I love your way of writing !
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April 10, 2017 at 11:07 am
Thanks a lot for your kind words.have a good day
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April 10, 2017 at 3:13 pm
You too Akhila ♡
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April 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm
Trust with intelligent evaluation! Here we consider only our level of helping hand towards us. There you have the choice. However there are choice-less souls (majority). In such cases, we need to view this topic with wider perspective! Anyways, good trigger Akhila.
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April 10, 2017 at 11:06 am
Ya..it’s all a matter of our vision.
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April 10, 2017 at 12:27 pm
😊👍
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April 9, 2017 at 2:54 pm
This post reminds me of a friend who sang praises for my blog one fine morning. She said so many wonderful things that I started wondering if she was mocking my work. However, it just turned out that she needed a favor and knowing my passion for writing, she chose to help me ‘boost’ my confidence with her mockery of a praise.
However, there are wonderful people out there in this world who help without awarding him/her with a brownie point for the action. Most of these people have achieved greatness and almost always have shun the limelight and instead remained modest and opted to influence others to follow the actions.
For me the first name would always be Dr. Devi Shetty whom I directly correlate to God himself.
Saint Mother Teresa being another great soul. Even among us there are many who do their bit and vanish off into thin air without as much as expecting a ‘Thank You’ for their actions.
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April 9, 2017 at 2:57 pm
Yes, there are people who don’t wait for any recognitions.. They do their part and disappear.. Even at the same time, i feel pity on those people who try to create an impression of a helper
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April 9, 2017 at 4:52 pm
Can totally relate!
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April 9, 2017 at 12:25 pm
The people who don’t take generally, never give……
Help is something we all need, day to day….. Doesn’t mean you are weak….
Besides, the whole world is the give and take, what’s wrong with it??
Asking for help and helping someone is the best way of cementing relationship…….
Who helps without expectations?? Without motives, doesn’t mean they aren’t good people……
If I did something for you I do want a return favour!! I dont get what’s wrong in it??
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April 9, 2017 at 2:51 pm
Hmm..perspectives difference..
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April 9, 2017 at 3:08 pm
Hope I didn’t offend you…….
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April 10, 2017 at 11:02 am
Oh..never..actually it’s good to read different perspectives
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April 9, 2017 at 12:35 am
It is a sad thing that you think that most givers have an ulterior motive. I would like to think the times I have offered to give something that this is not the case…that I am honestly just trying to be kind…
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April 9, 2017 at 2:54 pm
It’s so good then..I know there is little bit negativity in that post..and I am not blindly saying that all are alike. There are exceptions too..
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April 9, 2017 at 6:03 pm
😊
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April 8, 2017 at 6:30 pm
Beautiful!! I love it. So much truth in what you write. Thanks for sharing it with us!
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April 9, 2017 at 11:39 am
Thank you so much
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April 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm
You are so welcome.
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April 8, 2017 at 10:19 am
I think people stopped to help each other. Every one is busy in their own lives. To help is a selfless act and if people are turning it into a selfish act, it’s not a good sign for humanity.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:26 pm
Obviously it’s not a Good sign.. We can’t expect any selfless acts..
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April 8, 2017 at 3:31 pm
But help is a help. I’m happy to get any help and grateful for it. I don’t mind what’s the behind it and will feel sorry for them if it backfires.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:36 pm
Good then.. But still the motives are least appreciable
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April 8, 2017 at 3:37 pm
I know you’ll tell this and that’s why I commented like that..
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April 8, 2017 at 3:38 pm
😉
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April 8, 2017 at 3:39 pm
Did you try fiction after that?
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April 8, 2017 at 3:40 pm
No dear.. Its not in my blood;)
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April 8, 2017 at 3:41 pm
Ha ha..you’ll never know..may be you can write that too..let’s see.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:44 pm
Thanks a ton..you are so nice
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April 8, 2017 at 3:50 pm
I’m planning to start a challenge on my blog. Actually I just thought of it. You can try participating there.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:57 pm
If I can write,you can definitely write.
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April 9, 2017 at 11:38 am
😉
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April 8, 2017 at 9:59 am
I agree, people are nowadays self-serving. I’d rather struggle to be independent and enjoy my fruits later than listen to someone saying were it not for him/her I would not have this or the other.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:25 pm
Exactly. You reflect my words. Why should we hear unnecessary fake words..
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April 8, 2017 at 3:49 pm
No reason at all.
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April 8, 2017 at 9:53 am
Well written Akhila and for sure u will find such people along your way who r very selfish and squeeze u of everything in life so one has to be careful.
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April 8, 2017 at 3:17 pm
Yes. Its damn difficult to escape from such people even when we deny their help. Their whole intention is to create an image of a helping hand. But it won’t be genuine
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April 8, 2017 at 6:02 pm
Hmmm absolutely true dear
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April 8, 2017 at 9:51 am
Exactly,agree with you .
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April 8, 2017 at 3:14 pm
Thank you greesh
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April 8, 2017 at 9:37 am
Well described. Although it sounds a bit negative, I fully agree! We live in a transactional world, rarely somebody is really independent / self-sufficient, unfortunately! Examples are marriages for economic rather than romantic reasons, family bonds that break because of even small money issues, etc.. I like your determination to help yourself in a self-responsible way; strong! All the best!
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April 8, 2017 at 3:13 pm
Thanks Mathias. Yes, its about a negative aspect of the self centred world…
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April 8, 2017 at 9:35 am
Ithu pazhe post aano? This showed up in my reader now. Valare sathyam aanu. There are people who genuinely help others and then there are the fake ones. How do we know the genuine ones? It’s really hard. Better to ask help only when there’s no other alternative and that too from people you can truly trust. Alle? Allathe enghane manassilakkum whether their intentions are good or not??
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April 8, 2017 at 3:10 pm
This is an old post shweta. I reposted it. Its difficult yo understand the genuine helping hands. And you it’s more difficult to escape from those fake hands. They won’t leave you without creating an impression of a helper.
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April 8, 2017 at 6:54 pm
I know. It’s very difficult. Mind reading ariyamayirunnenkil kollaam ennu thoni pokum..
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April 9, 2017 at 11:39 am
Hmm..
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April 8, 2017 at 9:17 am
keep distance dear. betrayal becomes order of the day, betrayal turns life into dust. nothing absolute nothing
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April 8, 2017 at 3:07 pm
Yup..a safe distance is always recommended
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October 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm
good one 😊
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October 19, 2016 at 10:08 pm
Hey, how do you manage to catch this old post
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October 20, 2016 at 4:42 am
Credit goes to WP for showing it on top of all your posts as if you posted it just now…One of many stunts of WP 😊 but i dont mind when it happens to be the post i didnt read before.
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Pingback: Useful help | Words and Notion
August 11, 2016 at 4:41 am
There are people in this world who help and offer help without wanting or asking for anything in return, except a genuine smile, which equates to LOVE.
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August 11, 2016 at 9:03 am
yeah.. that genuine smile is there with a few species only.. thanks..
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May 14, 2016 at 6:09 pm
True, dependency stunts your growth….but secret agenda….hmmm, suspicious mind…well elucidated thoughts. Ma’am
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May 15, 2016 at 1:14 pm
happy with your words…:)
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May 15, 2016 at 8:14 pm
Happy with your thoughts…
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May 3, 2016 at 7:02 pm
Help without care of getting back.. But as you said, it is a selfish and moreover a self centred world.. We need to be careful and think about the intentions of people who cone forth to offer help! That said there are enough and more good helping hands 🙂
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May 4, 2016 at 3:38 am
yes.. we need to be careful..thanks for commenting..
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April 29, 2016 at 5:51 pm
A true spirit. 🙂
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April 29, 2016 at 5:52 pm
thank you
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April 27, 2016 at 6:47 am
I really don’t know if it is correct to think there is a secret agenda behind a helping hand. We too help people in whatever way we can. And I don’t think I have a secret agenda behind my actions. A very interesting post. I believe there are as many opinions as there are people. Regards
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April 27, 2016 at 6:59 am
I am Glad to read your reply. And I liked your perspective about thinking of oneself in the situation.
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April 25, 2016 at 5:56 pm
Superb… It’s always a treat to read you posts:)
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April 26, 2016 at 6:54 am
Thanks friend, I am blessed with your words. how are you doing?
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April 26, 2016 at 7:03 am
Am started taking lectures in Calcutta university.. And preparing for the exam… And getting habituated with the pain !!
You know what I mean…
Btw I tried what you said, sitting on the floor help at times..
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April 26, 2016 at 7:21 am
Glad to hear From you. Happy to know that you are engaged with university. Take care friend
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April 26, 2016 at 7:27 am
Thank you so much friend!
This word means a lot to me 🙂
Pls tc :)!
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April 26, 2016 at 7:03 am
You are welcome:)
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April 25, 2016 at 11:58 am
Heya, that was such a lovely article. I would love your feedbacks on my blogs as well. Ur feedbacks and comments will help me write better. I do hope u check it out and comment, like or follow me. It would mean a lot to me to get feedback from a brilliant and experienced blogger. You can click the link given below to see my most recent post.
https://tearsofimaginationblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/25/what-mistake-did-i-do/
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April 25, 2016 at 10:07 am
No such thing as altruism…Even when we think we’re being selfless we’re probably basking in the self satisfied glow of having done a good deed!
Damn humanity. Urgh. Think I need a shower.
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April 26, 2016 at 7:34 am
Ha. Nice thinking. Yes at times I too feel the selfishness behind my own selfless thoughts
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April 23, 2016 at 8:01 pm
I like to trust people until they give me cause not to – better than not trusting them until they prove they can be trusted.
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April 24, 2016 at 5:10 pm
Hmm..that’s a good thought. Have a good day.
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April 23, 2016 at 6:50 am
I know this story very well.
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April 23, 2016 at 9:06 am
Oh..you also face these experiences. .how Will you tackle it?
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April 23, 2016 at 5:58 am
A harsh reality of life. But true.
PS – Please refollow me by clicking on my avatar. I got a new domain but it’s in limbo for now. Lost many of the posts too. THanks 🙂
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April 23, 2016 at 9:12 am
Yes. I will follow.thanks ..
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April 23, 2016 at 4:11 am
**continue.. This fills me with Gratitude.
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April 23, 2016 at 9:59 am
Thanks Amritha. .I think you are also undergoing the same situation.
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April 23, 2016 at 4:10 am
Hmm.. I can relate to every word you wrote. I’ve learned to help when asked ( that too if it comes from within) and take help when you’ve given your all and still stuck.
I don’t know how, but, there are so many moments when the Cosmos sent people (strangers) to get me out things I was stuck. This fills me with
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April 23, 2016 at 10:19 am
Thanks amritha. .I understand. We can believe that there are still some good people around us send by God
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April 22, 2016 at 12:02 pm
I see your point but there are truly helping hands. I’ve known many and am thankful for them. I think it is sad both to believe like a gullible fool in evil disguised as good and to see cunning and evil where there isn’t any or to be broken beyond recognition of true kindness.
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April 22, 2016 at 4:10 pm
Thank you. I’m glad to know that there is still true kindness. Have a good day
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April 22, 2016 at 4:11 pm
Thanks and same to you.
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April 22, 2016 at 9:39 am
That’s a lot of experience talking! :O
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April 22, 2016 at 9:40 am
Yes.. Experiences taught me.. Didn’t you have any such dilemmas..?
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April 22, 2016 at 9:41 am
I sure do. And now, I usually see through the motives of such ‘helping’ hands!
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April 22, 2016 at 9:45 am
Yes.. at times I keep smiling seeing these kinds of helping hands. How pity they are as they don’t know that we understood their game.. he he..
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April 22, 2016 at 9:31 am
Too deep!
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April 22, 2016 at 9:40 am
Thanks Sakthi.. Won’t you try to escape from such hands..?
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April 22, 2016 at 9:42 am
It’s hard to guess to be honest! Maybe it’s better to stick with limit if we find such a hands!
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April 22, 2016 at 9:43 am
True….:)
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April 22, 2016 at 9:44 am
🙂
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April 22, 2016 at 9:26 am
Curt but very appropriate.
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April 22, 2016 at 9:39 am
Thank you.. Yes at times we need to be curt to keep such fellows away from us
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April 22, 2016 at 10:22 am
Definitely.
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April 22, 2016 at 9:14 am
Great thoughts here!
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April 22, 2016 at 9:18 am
Thanks friend. How will you escape from such cunning hands..?
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April 22, 2016 at 9:20 am
We must keep them at hand’s distance!
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April 22, 2016 at 9:38 am
yes. perfect..:)
And the most important fact is to reccognize them, their motive..
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April 22, 2016 at 9:52 am
Only after recognizing..!
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