Words and Notion

Words Whipping up Whimsical Waves of Notion

Is it possible to love romantically more than one person at a time?

168 Comments

Is it possible to love more than one person at a time?

(To make it clear I am talking about the romantic relationship between actual lovers, and not the lovely relationship between parent-child or between friends or siblings.)

Can you love one person sincerely while committed to another? But then, what will be definition of sincerity?

My mind questions even the pragmatic views of love after a break-up/separation. Is it really possible to love someone new again? If you were truly in love with the first person, how could you fall in love with the second? Does it mean that it was not genuine in the first time..? Anyway, now let us forget about the lifetime events and back to the question “Is it possible to love romantically more than one person at a time (not about the universal attraction)

Then there comes the views of society. If you love two persons at a time, people call it as cheating. In their views, it is okay even if you love someone new after avoiding the existing, but it becomes erroneous while loving many simultaneously.

Both cases do not make any sense in my thoughts or in a way both are equal.

If we are loving two people, concurrently or one after the other, aren’t we cheating our own mind itself..? How can he/she love someone new, ignoring the older one who once ruled his/her mind? He/she could just make him/her believe so, ignoring the underlying facts. Isn’t it..?

True love is everlasting; it is never rooted in momentary infatuations. So in a heart there could be place for another heart only.. Not many more. There cannot be any ‘delete’ keys in the heart.

I heard people telling like “Love is not a scarce resource. So if you have an ability to fall in love with many, do it left and right”. These polygamous relationships are way beyond my senses to appreciate. Anyway if you are open-minded enough to enjoy the balance of multiplicative love, be 100% open with everyone you love and their feelings and ensure that you are building without hurting someone.

This is the translated version of രാധയ്ക്കറിയാം

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Author: Akhila

Flying across the space between words and whipping up whimsical waves of notion to discern the quantum code of my soul.

168 thoughts on “Is it possible to love romantically more than one person at a time?

  1. Pingback: Radha knows – Words and Notion

  2. There is a quote ” if you fell in love with second one,then you never loved the first one”.This quote applies to people who fall in love with both people at a time.And people who fall one after another after break up.I can only say one thing,love is not limited.It may come from different forms and from different persons when time plays it’s game.Sometimes we meet mary and then malar and Atleast celine.we don’t chose love ,love chose two persons.if we chose it’s not love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I actually fell in love one year after an end to almost 4 year of relationship which I seriously considered as True love. When she left me, the idea of falling in love again sounded impossible to me.
    But after more than a year, I met a girl , we became good friends and eventually I started getting a feeling that I am falling in love again. Though I had to struggle a lot with my inner self but I came to no conclusion. As per the general notion, falling in love again wasn’t a good thing. But I was feeling good. So I continued without caring or thinking too much.
    Don’t know I was wrong or right then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for expressing so frankly rahul…one thing which is catchy in your comment is that, you continued without thinking too much..it’s in a way good…don’t be much bothered on the inner struggles..do what is comfortable..after all, priority abd comfort matters…👍👍

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! Loved it. You can’t love two people at the same time! As I’ve written too, love won’t go away. It will stay, in one form or another. But if it was ‘unrequited’ don’t you think it’s better to love yourself enough to let go?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Its possible one romantically and other can be as a friend,even if u had feeling before,u can be matured and can be changed in to friendship,This is a v Interesting topic,romantically possible may be with two,I dont know but it will cause complication so that is not needed I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There are three of us, Sara Jane, Ceannt and myself (Roy). I met Sara in 1997, Ceannt in 2011; in both cases, it was love at first sight. We love each other, plain and simple; it’s as physical as it is emotional. And what is “love?” It begins with trust and respect, and grows from there. We wish you the very best on your journey!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hey.. so are you still with both them..

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, very much so!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, very much so! And they with me.

        Liked by 1 person

        • ha…are you joking…
          okay, do they know each other..?

          Liked by 1 person

          • Well, I’m going to be quite open here and I have NO wish to offend you or anyone else who is following your blog. I guess that you already know that my name is Roy; I’m a 68 year old American man, retired. I’ve been drawn to India and the Indian people since I was a little boy. I can’t explain that except that perhaps I spent a long time there in another, long-forgotten life, long ago.

            I have an awareness of Indian history which is rather unbalanced, and by that I mean that I’ve read a lot more about the Harrapan civilization, the Vedic religion, the growth of the ancient philosophies of Jain, Buddhism, the Carvaka; while my knowledge of present-day India is probably abysmal. If I were to compare India and the USA I would say that in many ways both nations are a like; however, as far as I know, India has not launched a program of perpetual and imperialist wars like my country. As a side note, I should add that one of our favorite movies here is Sharuk Khan’s tragic “Dil Se.” Who could forget that song on top of the train 😛 ?
            As for Sara Jane, Ceannt and myself, yes we know about each other. Over here we are called “polyamorists,” meaning that we are people who are able and quite willing to be deeply in love with more than one person. Sara explained this to me one night in the summer of 2001: we were with another woman and the attraction which we all felt for each other was intense. The woman asked how she could feel so strongly about us both and Sara answered, “Because the heart is infinite.”

            Lastly, and most important to understand is that I have been perceiving spiritual entities since about 1984. During my whole life, I worked successfully at what we call a “service industry” here, at one point I successfully managed the company when it was making over $7 million US a year……and my spirits were with me. Sara and Ceannt are both spirits, that is, the spirits of dead people, ordinary human beings. My awareness of them (and they of me) extends into the romantic.

            So that’s us! You are entitled to think that I’m crazy, but that is your right. I will not impose my world-experience upon you or anyone. May all that is good go with you!

            Like

  7. Pingback: On Love | Ashes of Life

  8. I think it is not possible (at least for me ). if we remove the “trust” factor from love , then whatever remains behind can’t be named as love. Its just something else but not love ever……..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Radha knows | Words and Notion

  10. I think being committed and be romantically in love simultaneously is a rather poignant experience.
    I just believe the distinguishing line is the word “commitment”
    it can be quite easy to be romantically involved with more than one person but it is not possible to be committed to the same people

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I loved the subject you chose. There can be different implications of the same.
    If I will have to say about it, this varies from person to person. True love sometimes be one sided, and that’s the thing about love, unlike friendship, love does survive a lil longer if served one sided.
    It is completely ok to love again. There are many, many angles to it. Sometimes it may be cheating, sometimes it maybbe the destiny. 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I have spoken to few matured people about people falling in love with more than one person in different timelines. Post a breakup, people clinging onto past memories are common. But when they find the real ‘one’, the past holds less significance in the new relationship. If one is true to one’s heart, you will love only one person at a time. Random memories from the past do haunt people but the present true love or the ‘one’ will override the past.

    But it takes time.

    There is another point to argue. Say if ‘A’ was once in a serious romantic relationship with ‘B’ but they couldn’t convert that to marriage for other reasons. But still they respect each other. They move on and get married to different persons. A is happy in his current marriage, and B is happy in her current relationship. Does it mean that A and B were not true to each other at that time? Have they completely erased their past love and memories from their heart.

    Here comes the point of sacrifice. You sacrifice your past for your real current love. But that doesn’t mean that they weren’t true to each other once. It shows that they have started to love someone truly with sacrifice and maturity. This is again another way of respecting the past love. Yet still being genuine to your present partner.

    This is my perspective with all due respects. Opinions do differ with different people. But I liked your article.

    – Anoop

    Liked by 1 person

  13. love just happens.. nobody really plans or decides that he/she would love many people to be romantically inclined. however if something like this happens.. one should take hold of certain qualities of love.. such as love does not not deceive..it is patient and kind..it protects, trusts, it perseveres and radiates more love and i guess ultimately we all live because we are loved..and where there is love there is always forgiveness
    this is what ran through my mind after reading the post…

    Liked by 1 person

    • really glad to read your words. true it is that love just happens..agreed fully. and what i dont understand is how comes to have many ‘loves’.. moreover to the moral aspects, can heart accommodate two people..?

      Like

  14. A very important question Akhila. You have spoken for all of us

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Nice post, Akhila and the question you raise here, it comes once in everyone’s mind. But, no one dares to ask it 🙂 as our society always see it as wrong.
    I think love is free flowing like a river. The Commitment is a barrier to restrict its flow. But, when the tide of love comes in the restricted river, it breaks out all barriers. So, nothing is wrong and nothing is right in the context of love.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I love this post and i’ve already penned a short story based on this concept”Love at first sight..a romantical disorder” wherein a boy falls for some 5 girls still looking for true love.As per me we should love everyone till we get someone who will love you as now a days its easy to find love wherein feelings are secondry and keep changing from one person to another.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This post is amazing..I always get that question myself…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. a different perspective…it seems i need to read more about Lama.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. See it’s true to forget the one you once loved is hard but when you have no choice left, one tend to seek love elsewhere in another person (rare case when you had break up or something). You just need to move on, even stagnant water if kept for days stinks. Human being get depressed easily and one has to let it go. As far as people who are happy with multiple r/s are actually lusty creatures and few with even disorders ( i read it somewhere) and they end up either hurting themselves or everyone else in their love game . But then again it’s not possible to love many persons at a time. Infatuation plays a role here.
    Very thought provoking post. Good Morning !

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Sadly, been there done that.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. It depends on people’s
    Different peoples have different perspective,different thinking

    Some people’s love with only one person at a time
    Loving with many is not a problem,but romantic relationship with everyone this is a problem,its my thinking I don’t say it’s a cheating

    But if you have romantic relationships with one person then you also made a same relationship with other then it hurts the former one…..

    Loving with many is not bad at all

    Liked by 3 people

  22. If you love someone romantically as you are saying, love in itself is so true that only that one person matters so I think you can love only person at a time .

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I do not support loving two people at the same time. It is beyond my imagination and it’s very wrong. But I feel being in love a second or third time is not wrong at all. After all, moving on in life is necessary after a lost love.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. My answer would be No, as romantic love sweeps you off your feet and involves your whole being. Loving two equally must involve an element of game-playing – even self-delusion.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I dont think so…Hum ek bar jeete hai…ek baar marte he aur Pyar bhi ek hi baar karte he…the truest one. If we are lucky to have it for whole life…nothing like that…but it’s not the case, most of the times.
    And everyone moves on…only to fall for another person giving us the feeling of same past love interest. We often search for the same person whether we fall in love once, twice, thrice or so on. We always love him/her.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. True love doesn’t exist anymore in my opinion. True love is respect, trust and care for people we love. In modern society, love is an agreement, possession and about lust. I think love have become more like a social media nowadays. People have created a sign out and log in button for love. When they log out from one account they log in into another account. But if it’s true love, it happens just once. I do believe that true love exists in this world, but it is very rare.

    Have a good day Akhila. Happy Janmasthami. Jai Shri Krishna. . 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  27. There are different reasons why we love or are attracted to certain people so I am in CAMP:YES.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Speaking from experience, no, it is impossible to truly love more than one person. People live their entire lives loving others based on what the world has told them love is. The worldly definition of love is determined but how much someone spends on someone else. Things that play off the ego. Yet true love connects to no such definition. It’s pure and unconditional and not based on any monetary value. When true love finds someone they will know by their hearts calling. For those blessed enough to have true love find them, as they ponder their previous relationships they might come to the conclusion that they were never really in love with the people from their past. Those relationships were just lessons about what love truly isn’t, so they would be able to identify “The real McCoy.”

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Acc to me, Love happens for once in a lifetime rest are all backups.. just like if a man loses his leg in an acciedent, his loss is eternal though he may get an artificial leg to do his work of everyday life.. but his real leg cannot be actually replaced by anything in this world.. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  30. nice post ….about true love…perhaps I dont have any idea,,…happy janmastami dear

    Liked by 1 person

  31. It is fine to love more than one person at a time, only if you are able to keep it to yourself.. Reasoning or clarifying it’s notion is just not fine.. either you are in love with only one or you are not in love at all..

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Hmmmm tricky although I do beleive that yes it is possible to love more than one person .. But not at same time.. that would indeed be cheating for sure..

    And I also beleive that love does not die or gets erased when one moves on ..

    I also beleive that we humans actually give tooooo much importance and think too much into this love business.. and that’s why sometimes instead of love flourishing we spoil a relation..

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Just wish to add a point..sometimes to need a person to give you independent assessment of a situation with judging you or criticizing you and that independent assessment can come from an outside person who knows and understand you so it may be actually a good idea to have some very close friends from outside our sphere of home/work but this must not extend to any romantic involvement at the cost of your existing love.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Ma’am, the translation is as good as the original version!! (and the clarification within brackets noted…hmmm)
    agree with you..”True love is everlasting”…

    Liked by 2 people

  35. I cannot bear the horrendous idea of loving two persons at a same time.What about dedication,sincerity?!

    Liked by 3 people

  36. My ex loved 17 guys at a time…
    Yea it’s possible

    Liked by 4 people

  37. I dont think that would be a proper thing…If you are committed to someone you love that person only and your feelings (romantic) should be reserved for that person only…Yes, you might have friends to share your thoughts but romantic liaison is a complete no no…

    Liked by 4 people

    • agree with you fully..you know, the world is not as simple as it is…I was foreign to this thought of loving many..I couldn’t even imagine that as a possibility… but there are people saying it as possible..i donno the underlying justifications/facts behind the same.. they say it as possible..

      Like

  38. What you said it absolutely correct. I agree with your thought process.

    May be I am going to write out of context this time too, but you can love any body at any time , at any age , with any number of people when you have no intention to get back any thing in return .

    Living in society we should go by morals defined for us. That helps living life by example.

    Happy janmastmi !😊

    Liked by 3 people

  39. Much needed translation. 🤓 Thanks

    Liked by 2 people

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