Words and Notion

Words Whipping up Whimsical Waves of Notion

Mr. Housewife


Neighbour           : Hello, happy to have you here.

He                        : Thank you so much.

Neighbour         : What are you doing here?

He                     : I am a home maker and my wife is working in a nearby firm.

Is there something weird on this conservation?


By default you are thinking about your mom or wife as the home maker.. Right..?

Why do you think it to be a woman? I know that majority of the answers which I received in response to my yesterday’s post had taken the default assumption.  i.e. a home maker is a woman.

Again, it all depends on the culture in one’s country.

Women are not kitchen lovers (Exceptions could be there who are passionate on cooking). Who had put that crown of home making upon her head without her permission?

Is there any biological explanation of the same.. ?

I don’t think so.. Hence probably it might have rooted on the societal forces.

Yes, of course education and employment had influenced a lot in the ‘male-bread winner, female- home maker’ family model.  And there are a lot many female employers, employees around us.  And interestingly majority of them are carrying the same old crown of home making too.

Today’s women are deeply engaged in office work. And at home, they start their second shift with cooking, cleaning, laundry, mending, food shopping etc etc.  On a normal day nearly half of them will take up house hold work while 20-25 % of men only will do the same as per labour statistics.

The fact which had attracted me based on yesterday’s response (please check the post Just a Question..) was that ‘many of you suggested to have a break from home making Or you want a break from both cases, an entire break’.

Of course home making is not an easy task. There are many aspects to be taken care in our day to day life at home. It requires constant attention and patience. And it is not a one day task. It is like a never ending vicious circle as Shalini commented. House wives plan for a day, plan for a week, plan for a month, at times they need to have plans for a year also for the effective execution of their household work. So there is no doubt why you preferred to have a break from home making while responded to my yesterday’s question.

I am quite sure that some of my male blogging friends might get irritated with this post. Please excuse me. And I wish if you could understand the true essence behind this post. I just want you to think atleast a moment about your working wife, about your working mom and then decide how you can be a helping hand for her. Just ask her honest opinion. Or do you want her to juggle between work and home always?

And I am quite sure that there are a good number of kind men too who are there to share the load with women. But their percentage is sadly on the lower side.

And interestingly majority of these working home makers will never raise a complaint on home making because they might have already taken it as a part of their daily routine along with office work.

Now you will be asking me, ‘If they don’t have any complaints, why I am bothered..?’..

Yes.. in fact while I started to write this post, I was very much concerned about the working home makers. I was taking effort to help them, to help them come out of the situation.

But now I can see, my state of mind is getting changed…

A dilemma is created..

So back to your question on whether I am bothered about those working home makers.

Now I feel my concern have transformed into a state of pride. Yes, I am really proud of them..  

Now let me say to them “Your potential is used in the best way while you are managing both your home and office.  Don’t care whether someone is looking at you, whether someone is appreciating your effort. It is you only, who can manage these stuffs in the best way. Let your counterpart realize their ineligibility. You are always busy which means that your mind is really smart. Do appreciate it by yourself, if there is no one else to appreciate you. Understand that a woman is strong enough to handle the daily life stuff in the best way. You are naturally gifted with a talent of multitasking as said by Suprith. Your capabilities are always fine-tuned to adjust with any situations.”

And finally it is all about performing the role well whether we are breaking away from the traditional role or not…

Happy is a state of mind and we create our own happiness with our own attitudes.

Or is it like you have to set boundaries on what is expected if your ultimate intention is to be happy?

( yeah… the question is still valid and needs further exploration)

Love , trust and respect – let the relationship be rooted on these three factors and it will make yourself to be a proud home maker/bread winner irrespective of your gender.


Author: Akhila

Flying across the space between words and whipping up whimsical waves of notion to discern the quantum code of my soul.

102 thoughts on “Mr. Housewife

  1. Your notions and words are perfectly balanced just as your WP title.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love , trust and respect – let the relationship be rooted on these three factors and it will make yourself to be a proud home maker/bread winner irrespective of your gender…. Thats it!!

    Actually if you go back in ancient time, there was an era where guys were home makers and women work outside…. 😊

    Agree many working woman work in double shifts or more… esp when they have old parents to take care.
    IMO, unless we understand without prejudice thoughts, things can be better… End of the day, mutual respect and love make the difference… This is also independent of gender 😇

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A direct hit!
    I too have felt the helpless situations of women especially in the terrible morning hours. Nobody needs help when a word full of appreciation or acknowledgement for handling laborious tasks can alone quench the thirst.
    Someone has to make a point about it, if not it goes unnoticed forever. It is great that you took the charge and finished in one step ahead of perfection.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Home making is definitely not an easy task

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My husband does most of the cooking for us. He also helps with the clean up and certain household chores. He respects that I work and therefore the need for him to help where he can.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. in Germany there’s a term called HausMann which means male home maker. it’s not the rule that men should be the bread winners in that culture. Here in India we have the patriarchal society where men take pride.. there’s a saying “Udhyogham Purushalakshanam ” which means mark of a man is to have a paid job. You can’t blame men alone for that, if a man doesn’t work the society looks down upon him sooner or later the spouse the working female looks down upon him too. she feels embarrassed to introduce him to her friends which never happens when a man works and the female doesn’t ..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great …. wat a message conveyed lovely😃👏👏👌

    Liked by 1 person

  8. perhaps its a question I never seem to find an answer…I have always wondered how my mom tackle things…..Everyone knows that it is simply not easy….my mom works even when she is sick until recently(now we help a lot),though dad is such a supportive and helpful person….its always moms work .I wonder if it is some type of stereotyping…its easy to give a lecture and when men tell they do chores I chuckle silently but in home its always burden heaved on ladies.I am not denying anyone who does chores.I simply mean reality where people expect wife or daughter or sister to take care of household works .

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Equality remains a future goal, alas!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. You addressed a sensitive issue well. Both men and women might be better off supporting each other by offering assistance where needed rather than based on masculine or feminine roles. This idea supports the concept of helping each other rather than creating potentially divisive outcomes.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Great post. I believe it doesn’t matter what people think about what you are doing. If you know you are on right track and working on something you have conviction, go for it.
    I will also say being busy is a blessing, it saves you from so many unwanted gossips and negative talks.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Good Descriptive Post Akhila. Good going.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wonderful Eye opening post..:)

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Wow! I think men and women both should participate equally in household responsibilities. While it is easily said than done. I still believe it is possible. I have just watched “ki and ka”. Perfect example.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Nicely written…made me to think !! Loved reading it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. The post reminded me of this, could find answers.. I’m not sure.. have a read when you have the time. https://vaayadipennu.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/why-homemaker-why-not-housewife/ found I have exhausted whatever I had to say on the subject in the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh my my, Akhila. I just loved your way of thinking. 😍😍😍

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Nice post. I have been both in the past. It’s tough for sure. Traditional roles here are slowly changing, but the bulk still falls mostly on the woman. She is still ‘expected’ to be a great Mom, career woman, housekeeper, wonderful wife, active, beautiful, etc. Ugh…a lot of pressure and one reason, in my humble opinion, that only adds to the depression and drug use in our country. There are a million more reasons of course, but our expectations to be everything to everyone is unreasonable. There are interesting blogs written by male homemakers out there. xo

    Liked by 2 people

  19. 👏👏👏nice post, managing home is not an easy job, now a days colleges offer management/home science courses but our grand mother’s, mother’s manages everything without taking these courses, they manages finance, inventory and satisfy all the members of the family by fulfilling their needs that too without a single day leave. A big salute and hat’s off to those who are homemaker specially for women’s.👍😊

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Apt analysis of the question you asked in your previous post. We really need to understand gender and roles are different aspects which need to be balanced to make sure home works well. One more thing i would like to add – Men bother this thing when either the lady of the house is ill or have gone somewhere and almost every man realize this but prefer to choose being blind folded which even result in women being the sufferer in most of the cases – due to negligence for their health & people love to define it sacrifice which is again rubbish. Very well stated and thanks for mentioning my comment 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  21. hmm, friend! interesting. liked the last para(Love , trust and respect ….)

    Liked by 3 people

  22. Good… People these days are more broad minded they have understood the responsibilities much better than patriarchal society.. So things are changing..

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Hey I see my name mentioned there . thank u for mentioning my view there.
    Now coming to post.. Somewhere I read Men hunted, women gathered. Men protected,
    women nurtured. As a result, their bodies and brains
    evolved in completely different ways.
    Hence as days passed on women evolved as homemakers.
    Now I always believed women make a better homemaker than men. The way women keep house in an organised way, may be we men have to have little more patience to do that. But yeah nothing wrong in joining hands in household chores.. Sharing responsibilities make a better family..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot for your views..yes I can understand that evolutionary path..my concern was primarily about her. I know some women who feel so much irritated, depressed with these daily stuffs. If they had at least an emotional support, never would have they raised their voices… And now I understood, how the feminism was evolved.. I am glad that you are understanding this and hoping your partner is treated in the best way.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. It all comes down to the traditional roles that (male dominated) society decrees. The woman is expected to be the homemaker. Most men still see it that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Yes true .. I guess masculine nature of large physique and body nature to do more complicated tasks may be a reason why women should stand only second and the first should always be a man.But I believe that men is the machine that carries out the task and women represent the source or path for making men do the job.

    Liked by 3 people

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