Words and Notion

Words Whipping up Whimsical Waves of Notion

I am not a feminist, but..

120 Comments

I am not a feminist. But I am extremely confounded seeing the hooked nature of woman.  She is always hooked, initially hooked to her father, then to her husband, then to son and the list goes on.Picture2

Is it a boon or bane upon the woman generation?

She is thought to be addicted to emotions. Emotions rule her and make her hooked as well as addicted. Was it a God’s decision? I don’t know.

From the moment a girl is born, she is treated entirely in a different way compared to a boy. The most important thing is that many of the girls don’t understand this discrimination. They just think it to be a part of their routine life.

It is told that a woman has proven their ability to be on the top of the world. But how many of them.. might be a 10 % or less than that. (I am not quite sure on the percentage, it’s a rough figure)

What is that preventing or blocking factor in a women’s life which makes her to be confined to the family? No..no it’s not the family which bonds her.. It’s just an excuse that every woman can tell.

I am not going for a deep analysis. If I have to, I will have to post on the same topic for months. Then what is that blocking factor in front of a woman? I would like to hear from you..

I don’t believe that it is the society’s attitude which made her suppressed.

Up to some extent, it might be her own attitude which made her to be dependent, to be addicted. (Probably imposed upon her for years and years and might take many more years if it needs to be changed).

How could she be convinced upon her strengths? How could she be informed that this is not what is expected from her? How could she be re tuned?

Definitely it must be through the growing generation. And only current generation can build that next generation…

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Author: Akhila

An emotionally colored and emotionally neutral woman flying across the space between words and whipping up whimsical waves of notion to discern the quantum code of her soul.

120 thoughts on “I am not a feminist, but..

  1. hey Akhila would like to publish your posts on our blog..I hope you don’t mind

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice post! And I would like to add more to the first bit. Even I used to begin some writings with an apologetic ‘I am no feminist’, but that changed when I came across this quote by Caitlin Moran on How to Be a Woman:

    a) Do you have a vagina?
    b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

    If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.”

    It is certainly a refreshing way to decide if you are a feminist or not. For the gentleman out there who believe that both sexes are equal (and I say equal, not same), congratulations, you are a Feminist too…!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yea Akhila..its the same voice reckoning in my poem. 🙂 We ourselves at some point are responsible for being minor in society. (y)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. thaaangalude choice of topics is great. My comments reserved on this topic(pinneedu parayaam ketto)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great Post Akhila!! You have come up so well with the issue… how since birth, a girl is treated differently… surely not the best way.. comments like “girls always cry” and many other things make you feel so low at times…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. In addition to starting from within, it must be followed through to continue the self-awareness by getting involved in civic actions and duties because it is the laws and policies that will either support or discourage the change you want to make. For example, the inequity in wages. Men in general make more money than women. Why? Because men are seen as the breadwinner; they have to provide for the family, so they are paid more. Women are seen as getting pregnant and then leaving the workplace so they are not taken so seriously or placed in higher regard. Understand that this is very simplistic example and stereotypical, but not too incorrect. Women themselves reinforce this because those who have sons tend to tell their sons to go get good jobs to support their family. They’re not told be a good father and stay home and raise your children. They say this to the women. That is because women really want the control and control starts at home. It is the women who ultimately dictates. That is the irony in all this. We are not weak. We want too much control and we have only so much energy and time, so ultimately we choose to be the ones to stay home to raise the child because we can’t trust the men.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. women loses her identity trying to please everyone….but half the set of women consider this as a part of life…..but for a person with my outlook..its hard..
    .to be frank i dont like complaining…..I will tell you my story….my mom scolds me one day why are you standing out when guest come to house….the same people come after some days my mom scolds why are you not coming out when guest arrive,,,,,,this is my life….confused state….just a funny incident
    they ask us not to do…..and tells who is bounding you…..your thinking is wrong,,,,,we give you full freedom,,,,,,but not allowed to speak to people without their consent….
    we turn introvert because we try our best to please everyone….and we are scared what they will think….

    Liked by 1 person

    • yes. this is a confused state. And somehow we are forced to please everyone and there by losing our identity. and that discrimination is fed into the blood of each growing child. we need some work around ..I am trying..

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Akhila.
    Great post. I am a doctor-mother-wife. Not necessarily in that order always. I think what holds women back is the ” I-want-to-be-an-all-rounder-and- I- will.” I try to be the best at work, I want to be that mom who is volunteering at school, that wife who dresses like a dream. I want to be that person who has it all sorted. This puts an immense stress on me. Proving my self to the world.
    The “man-world” has not made us into this. We have so bought it on ourselves and stereotyped our roles and passed it on as inheritance to our children who are told to follow and not lead.

    Like

  9. I feel, change is happening, things are much better than it used to be, just looking into the positive aspects 🙂 Good day!

    Josh

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Josh.
      Yes. Things are better. But better than what..? That’s what puzzles me. There are evidences in the history revealing a better state of women. But later it got changed and then became worse. And now may be a little better. But donno, where it’s going.. Is this the expected positive change..? Doubtful..
      Wish you too a good day ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

      • All depends from one person’s perspective, btw I have come across stunning women who really inspires the way we look at life, no matter what happened, they keep going, we arrive at an opinion based on our experience, in that way, and that’s how i derived at the so called “Things are Better”, Good day 🙂

        Josh

        Liked by 1 person

  10. This is a great & thought provoking post. One without an easy answer. I grew up feeling very equal to my male counterpart. That is my culture, my father’s culture. Both of my parents worked; both cooked; both played their roles in the household. So, I do know how strong a woman can be; I do know a woman’s worth. Right now, my sons are young; one is 5 & one younger than 2 years; our daughter is 14. I choose to stay home with them (I work part time, but not very often). I choose to drive them to & from school or bus stops; I choose to cook & to clean. My husband supports this decision, but does not demand it. I will go back to school soon, & then work more often, & my husband supports that as well. We come from different cultures, but work together as husband & wife to raise our family in a manner that we both agree on through compromise. Our daughter will be raised & is being raised to know she is equal. She will be encouraged to find her own happiness, & her own path. Not all women are raised this way, though, whether that be because of their culture, religion, or another reason. But, we can’t assume these women are unhappy, or that they don’t know their worth. One of the hardest jobs, and most rewarding, is keeping one’s house & home. All we can do is educate, & let people, cultures, religions, etc adapt in their own time & in their own way. I hope this makes sense, lol .. Sorry it’s so lengthy! Thank you for the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot christina for sharing your experience and it sounds really great. I am pretty happy to know your culture. As you told, it varies from place to place, religion to religion etc. And I agree with you totally that the most appreciable job is the building up of family itself. I am not telling like none of them are aware of their worth or value, but definitely a very little will be aware. Education is the best solution. but you know still there are limits. A good parent only can fill those gaps. let us hope for the best and a better generation

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Good Questions Akhila. But we all need to take a step back… upbringing plays a huge role. Take for example, if a boy cries and if he is told or asked why you acting like a girl or when a girl takes a stand, she is described as a man… I think these instances begin the formation of what is a boy and a girl. And it grows.. Add to these many such taunts and teases as they grow up. You sound like a girl! Why do you have a boy cut.. after this kind of upbringing when a woman or man wants to change or rather empower themselves it becomes very difficult! I am not saying boys should cry or girls shouldn’t climb trees… But when such comparisons are made repeatedly they stick on .. ) ideas are formed on what a boy and a girl is, roles as set as to what they should do or is expected to do…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha.. a great reply.. You have an intelligent point.. I have heard these statements many a time and I also wondered why it is like that. Yes the main reason starts from the childhood. A kid is grown up in that way to tune her/him to a boy or a girl. And are these pre-claims a shameful on the mankind..? It is destructing the creativity of human. hey are forced to move in a particular way. How could we come out of this crisis..?

      Liked by 1 person

  12. society always expect more and more from a girl sometimes our family also do the same i couldnt understand why they do that so, we are also human but ofcourse we can help each other there is still a hope 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes. There is hope and that hope motivated me to post this. we need to work if that hope needs to be fruitful.. So how could we help these women generation..?
      Thanks a lot Tanya for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. well written…and truely said…we should support each other..& make a difference…

    Liked by 1 person

  14. If it is her attitude, then she has it because society imposed it upon her from birth, I’m afraid.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I think it’s due to negative conditioning by society and by the family (and I was born in a ‘Western’ society). I have only found out who I am through a lot of pain and struggle and sometimes think, did it have to be like that?
    have a lovely weekend Akhila,
    Dagmar

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes.. proud of you as you know who you are.. And you suffered a lot of pain to reach that point. definitely, it is not the expected way, I think. So friend how can we help the rest..? how can we make them understand about their presence in the world..?

      Liked by 2 people

      • women need to want to understand their presence in the world themselves.
        This desire will lead to them seeking means and ways of how to make themselves seen and heard. To matter. To be counted. To stand up for their rights and everyone else’s.
        The only way in my mind. But we can support and empower each other and this means a lot.
        Dagmar

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Excellent post Akhila!!! This is a very deep rooted issue since ages. Women are bestowed with additional capabilities and emotions that might be a reason for them to be confined to family bonding. Imagine a world full of males, would it be as complete as it is with a world that has women? There are some special abilities in genders that make each of them what they are! But what a woman wants/does should be out of her choice and willingness, but not out of pressure/hindrance. But statements like these are not needed for men. That’s the issue in many cultures/countries, specially in India. But I feel things are changing for the better. Women are making choices. At the same time there are many who are struggling to raise their voice for what they want. If not for societal pressure, they tend to ‘CONVINCE’ themselves about not being capable. It could be because of the circumstances they grew up in or the situations they faced. As you said, the current generation needs to consider this big time! Treating each gender equally and allowing them to make choices should begin at every home. Because attitude is defined from our surroundings- the way we grow up and the way we are treated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot for your deep and detailed reply. I truly respect your attitude.
      I am not sure whether the situation is getting better or not. I can see many fights, many criticisms etc etc demanding gender equality. But is that enought..? Because what I feel is the root cause is within her mind. That mind block needs to be treated first and make her convinced about her capabilities. If each parent could take care of this, atleast we can build up a better next generation.. what else we can do for these women generation..?

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Women’s rights have been an issue for a few decades only …these things take time but they are moving in the right direction. Interesting post.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. This is such a great post, I loved it. Similar questions arose in my mind few days back and then I read this. Someone said it right, the most difficult barriers that we face are the ones we set for our own selves. But I don’t think that woman mentality is the sole reason that restricts her in achieving what she wants,for instance, in a country like India , the society has made such rules, that it’s downright impossible to achieve certain things. Though,( just like you said) there can be reasons for it !

    Liked by 2 people

  19. It’s a topic which has different views! But still culture and religion play vital role in it!

    Liked by 3 people

  20. I cannot speak for any woman other than myself, but I honestly believe that I have chosen to be “bound” to my family. My own mother was a very firm feminist and a fierce pro-ERA activist. I am a wife and mother. I do not work outside the home. I am a matriarch. And, I love it. The important point, I think, is that I feel I’ve actually been free to chose my path. I was blessed with many options. It’s sad and infuriating that his is not a luxury that most women in the world possess.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you mam for your views. I do really respect your views and decision to be bound to your family. As it is a cautious decision which you have taken among the given many other opportunities, you are on the safer side . because you are aware what you are doing.But it is pretty sad as the case is totally different in the case of majority of the females..how could we help them, atleast make them aware who they are.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I think Geography and religion certainly have a say in how a girl is treated in comparison to a boy. I however am of the mind that we should all be treated equal and if I am honest I have preferred working for female bosses over male bosses.

    Liked by 3 people

  22. She is forever hooked to someone or the other because ‘the someone or the other’ wouldn’t have it any other way and this system is upheld in all her relations (family, work place, society, government etc.) on a global scale in varying degrees.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Yes, you said it.. on a global scale in varying degrees she is always hooked to someone… She is building up the family, thus the society and finally the world…but is she really knowing what she is doing..? i don’t think that majority are aware of their importance in the world. They just treat themselves as housewives or so. So come on Swetha, let us help them…

      Liked by 1 person

  23. This is has to do with history of the world, Akhila. Till the human beings knew the secrecy of the ‘birth’ of another human being, it was the woman who ruled! You can look for it in your own geographical history of Kerala. Women were the head of the family.
    Second, when the concept of ‘ possession’ or ‘own’ entered, the scenario changes. ‘ Owning the pro property’ – ‘cows’; ‘Goats’; and then the farming lands! and then the women so that the property would not go out of that ‘FAMILY’
    I can write a full fledged essay on this.
    But, I have given you food for thought!
    Think it over.

    Liked by 3 people

    • yes.. you have given me food for thought.. thank you..
      History plays a lot.. Probably there were women rulers.. But I don’ know how can I relate it to the current scenario where I could see mainly discrimination. I am not blaming anyone for the same ..As i said it in my post, it could be mainly due to the unawareness of females themselves..

      Like

  24. I’m going to be blunt. I don’t think women stick together. We are the first to slate and criticise our own gender.

    Liked by 4 people

  25. I feel she has to realize it from within first, that all is in her control. Yes, she might have to fight the society for it, but then that’s what the whole issue is all about!

    Liked by 3 people

  26. Gripping article Akhila… Rightly said… Reminds me of the last speech by sridevi in English Winglish😀

    Liked by 2 people

  27. I think first of all biological. She is the backbone of family. She creates it. Nurtures it. Gives it a shape and life. So I think, as far as about strength, she is already convinced of that, and the whole world is, because raising a family is not an easy job.

    But with the progression of society we have seen more equitable distribution of responsibiliy between men and women, and rise of women in other aspects of life. And it is not wrong. But it will take time for their representation to change. It is evolution and it will take time.

    PS. I hope I didn’t rambled on uselessly. 😛 Very thought provoking writeup. And well written too. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    • Thanks Nitin for sharing your excellent feedback..
      I understand that you have a great respect for woman. As you said raising a family is not an easy job..But from where that work segregation happened..? why not men..?..this is my question one. and you know there are many many females who don’t understand that they are doing a wonderful job of building up the family, society and finally the world…so my second question is how to make her understand about her power in building up the world.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The work segregation was the result of evolution. It wasn’t decided by anyone, per say.

        The concept of family is new in the annals of human history. Before that men and women didn’t share a home and meals together to raise a family.

        Slowly things started changing, societies developed. Families evolved. And it was naturally assumed that women would take care of home.

        Also, in earlier times the work was not refined as we have today. it was hunting, and cutting and tackling animals of prey. For all this, men were generally suited. That’s how the role of men got defined to the outsides.

        Women, on the other hand, were assumed to do what they do so good, to raise a family (Also, it was a general trend, there were some small tribes where women were warrior too. But by evolution that trait didn’t spread much)

        PS: I’m an ardent believer of evolution. That’s why the above long explanation. (sorry if I sound like arguing, but just that I become excited when talking about evolution)

        And in now way I say that if this was the way things happened in the past, it should continue like this. Almost all the female friends I know, who are married, are working, and sharing all responsibilities of family with their husband.

        Liked by 1 person

  28. This is a difficult topic to find one answer. Different cultures create different foundations upon which we build our character. Different societies have different rules which help guide us to fulfill our “supposed” roles in life. I believe each of us must quietly listen and introspect to find our roles through discovering our passions and purposes in life.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. I understand when you coming from… It’s hard to say though, but your point lights the truth. As a parent I always treat my kids in the same way….
    Great post Akhila!

    Liked by 3 people

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